“Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I’m not perfect - and I don’t live to be – but before you start pointing fingers… make sure your hands are clean!” ― Bob Marley
Such wise words. Have you spent weeks, months, years trying to get it perfect! Precise? Please everyone? Don’t disappoint, don’t fail? Don’t get it wrong? Who are these people you are trying to please? To get it right for? Do they know what is happening in your life? Are they privy to your world? And why are you wasting such precious time hoping to gain approval, love, validation that is probably based on a moving goal post? Do you wake up in the morning, and your mind goes to the negative self-talk, self-criticism and harsh judgment carried over from yesterday’s failures instead of focusing on gratitude and self-compassion, excitement for the coming day?
We keep thinking that if we get to that ideal, the perfect look, have the latest handbag, then life will be good, and all our problems will disappear and all of a sudden, we will not be judged. How wrong you are.
From a very early age, we have been conditioned to strive for perfection. To be the best, programmed to achieve near flawlessness. We have been led to believe that if we look a certain way, have certain possessions, eat a certain way, have an ideal partner, or career then we will certainly feel happy, loved …. And of course, belong. So simple, but of course so untrue. All this striving serves to only make us miserable and spend a lot of wasted hours striving for an impossible solution. We keep thinking that if we get to that ideal, the perfect look, have the latest handbag, then life will be good, and all our problems will disappear and all of a sudden, we will not be judged. How wrong you are. How disillusioned you are. Those same people you put on a pedestal are still there to judge, critique and make you work harder to chase that perceived ideal of perfection.
Knowing you are good enough, have value, are loveable, comes from within. These are intrinsic to you.
Sadly, perfectionism will remain if you continue to look outwards to others for your sense of self-worth, self-value and self-love. If you continue to rely on others to fill you up in order to feel good enough, worthy and loveable, you will spend your time like a hamster on a wheel continuously going round and round, chasing and chasing. Knowing you are good enough, have value, are loveable, comes from within. These are intrinsic to you. They come from within. When you look within and see your good, your positive and all the good that you are made up of, and spend less time on worrying about pleasing others or meeting other people’s expectations, you can cultivate a far more positive sense of wellbeing. You also free yourself up to do the things that make you happy, content and fulfilled. The sooner you realise that perfection is not available to us in the world, perfection is an illusion, the sooner you can get on with living your life because of the imperfections.